August 2008 Archives

Today I set into motion the gears that will end up taking me to Long Beach California. There is no turning back now.

When going into a battle he thought could end his life as he knew it, Old Lodge Skins would utter the words of his people: "Today is a good day to die." To me uttering this to myself has always been a recognition and a reflection of my total acceptance and resignation of "what will be will be" when leaping forth in to the unknown. So...

Today is a good day to die.

---

Memorable quotes for
Little Big Man (1970)


Old Lodge Skins: Today is a good day to die. 

www.imdb.com/title/tt0065988/quotes

another link: Aaron and Mark Caldwell's Little Big Man page.
Thumbing across America

Thumbing across America is one of the plans gnawing at the back of my mind. Here we have a few people who have thumbed across America recently and who are not wild-eyed kids with innocence were most adults have supposed experience.


and...


I am not sure yet that time and circumstances will allow me to thumb/hitchhike across the continent, but I will know in a week (or two, at most) whether it is a realistic option given the demands of my move. I really would like to hitch across the country. We'll see if this is a viable option for me and if not this time, I am sure I will get another chance after I settle in at Long Beach.

I've checked out the air fares, bus fares and train fares and to my surprise Amtrak's train fares are the best deal. A few years ago when I looked into not driving or thumbing across America, Amtrak was the most costly. Thank you gas prices.

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In my search for an apartment in Long Beach, I came across a contact name and an address for a building I found on craigslist (more on craigslist later...). I went to Google to see where the building was situated in respect to places I've heard of and I came across the name of a transitional housing program/house affiliated with the name Dolly Varden. Being Donnie, i was intrigued to follow this link as Dolly Varden was a name that rang a bell. 

I saw a cute California style building being turned into a Hotel. I of course found Dolly Varden being *****ding*****ding****ding****** a character out of a Dicken's novel "Barnaby Rudge". What I did not know was that Dolly Varden is a trout! A trout!

...and people wonder why I have this love/hate relationship with Google?

So know I know more than I ever wanted to about DollyVarden and now so do you too. 

Dolly_Varden_trout.jpg

The Dolly Varden troutSalvelinus malma malma, is a subspecies of anadromous fish in the salmonfamily, and is technically a char. Although many of the fish are anadromous, the fish also exists in landlocked waterways in the northwest United States.

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So Who or What Is Dolly Varden? And Other Fish Tales..

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Dolly Varden is also a musical group.
Five days of fear and dread. Fear that doing everything I possibly can think of to line things up for my planned move, the very real threat that I could end up homeless until a new lease is signed would be the end result of a lot of hard work: My lease here would run out and I would be going to Long Beach without a signed lease. Two days of dread concerning the news that a long lost, dear friend and I were to reconnect on some level. A combination of furcht and angst have been my constant companion and I have had enough of them. Time to move on from this furcht and angst.

 I am purposefully being vague about some of my life right now (and past) and what it means because of reasons I will post about later. For me, for now, it is enough to put it all down this way for future reference. 

I will say here and now, that I realize the synchronicity of a few recent experiences I am living through are striking and meaningful in ways that I believe I have not yet begun to grasp. I really do hope that soon I will allow myself to write about this stuff in a more open and brutally honest fashion. I desire so much to put some things down in my usual inimitable style---brutal honesty mixed with .., but I have promised myself to be patient and thoughtful about what I want to accomplish here at definitely maybe.

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Just as RFK said "Tragedy is a tool for the living to gain wisdom, not a guide by which to live." I've learned to live by the motto Fear and anxiety is a tool for the living to gain wisdom, not a guide by which to live. 


---

Bobby Kennedy article:

I'll file this under "Odd Chatter"

Long Beach Tales

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I am moving to Long Beach and all hurdles except one have been jumped. I am waiting on a reply about signing a lease long distance. 

I went out on a disability a while ago. Since then some things have gotten better and a few are now getting worse. I think it is nothing I cannot overcome. While I am not silly enough or young enough to imagine my own invincibility, I am pretty sure about my abilities to overcome obstacles that have driven others into the ground---into an early death. Being a survivor has always been in my background.

Back to the disability. This has allowed me a little assistance from a few non-profit and governmental agencies. Along with assistance comes bureaucracy. The last few months I have been jumping through hoops while pushing others to do what is in their job descriptions. This has been stressful yet entertaining. I have a few stories to tell after it is all over and my making this post is my way of making a note to myself.

When I get to Long beach (one more hoop to jump with one more bureaucratic snafu to untangle) I will get back online as soon as I can. ?I may be offline for a while and when that happens the result will be other issues coming to the forefront. I do not want to forget what it took to make this thing happen. I hope sharing it later will help one other person and maybe provide a laugh or two to others who have went up against the system.

file under "Odd Chatter"

Boston's North End Feasts & Processions

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My last Boston memories with be time spent with childhood friends and family. I hope to get a few photos at the North End like I did at the Feast in East Boston. Coming from Eastie, the connections with the North End have always been there and have been strong. The Feasts are a link to the past: The way we were.


View Larger Map


I hope to see Patty and Joanne in the North End. It's supposed to be a surprise my showing up, but I'm hoping Patty sees this post and gets back to me. Maybe then we can turn the tables on Joanne---all in fun. If not, it's Patty's surprise. I really do love these people. We had such a wonderful life growing up together.

I hope to be at the Feast on a certain day, with some of the guys, but I will go alone without them if other things pop up that weekend. I hope we have as good a time as some of us have had at Joey's home in Saugus. I wish I had went to the times at Joey's with my brother Michael when was alive. Mikey used to ask me to go, but I was always busy or something.

sigh 

At Joey's I learned of Ralph G's B'day trip to the park. I hope I can go there too, but my schedule is getting very busy. Saugus? It's a town in Massachusetts that is undervalued and under appreciated by many. I remember my mom's uncle, Jack McLean, who was one of my grandfather's brothers was daily managing editor of one of Boston's major newspapers and he lived there. Mom's family were all involved in the newspaper biz going back to her grandfather who emigrated from Canada somewhere. From what I found out, the old man went to Pennsylvania, New York and then Massachusetts as a newsman and editor.


View Larger Map




 Boston    2008
North End Feasts & Processions

www.sgeier.net/fractals


To create a Koch snowflake, one begins with an equilateral triangle and then replaces the middle third of every line segment with a pair of line segments that form an equilateral "bump." One then performs the same replacement on every line segment of the resulting shape, ad infinitum. With every iteration, the perimeter of this shape increases by one third of the previous length. The Koch snowflake is the result of an infinite number of these iterations, and has an infinite length, while its area remains finite. For this reason, the Koch snowflake and similar constructions were sometimes called "monster curves."

I am fast approaching the last day of Chapter: 2, in my new journey. I am ready to set in motion the final plans for how I will be getting from Boston to Long Beach. I will know more by the end of the day. It looks like I will NOT be able to hitchhike across the country and guarantee that I will be where I have to be, on time, in order to sign some documents.

In this day and age I am puzzled why many bureaucracies do not have a system in place to use fax and email of PDF files for important documents. I have been running around and hanging out waiting for emails, and using SKYPE and my cell phone all with the intent to make my transition smoother than it need be. The only smooth thing has been the illusion of smoothness, and even that is fraying at the edges.

Well, I posted for the day. Later today I will post again and then the race will be on to get the last of my affairs all in order and to tie up any loose ends. Can I do all this and scan the rest of my photos, documents and other stuff onto my external drive for safe keeping? Do I have time for all I want to do? Most likely not. Now the hard choices will come. I get to be like George W. Bush--I get to be the decider! Fractal that!

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note: How long will I be offline after the move? Will I have public access? Plan for a worst case scenario.

Peter Paul & Mary and John Denver both have versions of this song that is playing in my head: Leaving On A Jet Plane



I've tried uploading it at playlist.com
...but I haven't the time to screw around. OOPS!!!! It's showing. Patience is a virtue I need to work on.

I'm leaving sooner than expected. I have a place, an apartment, a pad, a nest, a crib waiting for me, being held...awaiting my signature, my John Hancock, and my physical presence.

When I no longer post here for a few days it will be a sign that I am on the other coast and waiting to get my life back together. A new Chapter in my life is beginning to take shape. I hope to export this clunky old 'puter at some later date when I am settled in snug-as-a-bug. We'll see if it survives the trip. If not---I will be offline a while. I will try and use a public library computer as soon as possible. 

I will be leaving for the west coast in a little over a week. I will be taking very little with me---very little. 

So long Boston
D.


Here is mom and me in her neighbor Hilda's apartment. Mom has on one of her head covers she got from the people at the cancer group. I have on a tee shirt that has me looking more larger than...okay, I got a bit fat! Grrrrrrrr,  the recent (relative) weight gain has me sporting a double chin. lol

I always think of my brother Michael who passed away a few years ago when I notice the chin(s). I used to rib him about his before cancer took it and he away. I miss him today. 
memomxmas22.png

Hilda, is a bit older than mom (mom is 78) yet Hilda is as energetic as the energizer bunny. We went over there with some food, shrimp and whatever? I'm glad we went over there because Hilda was all alone for the holiday. Usually she goes out on holidays with some friends. This year something was different. I didn't pry. But I am so glad I noticed sounds coming from her apartment when I came over because this prompted me to mention Hilda to mom.

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Getting old and having no close family nearby, or even alive, is something I've witnessed first hand while growing up in Boston's Public Housing Developments of the 50s, 60's and early 70s. That was before they went to crap because of crappy management which ignored it's most basic responsibilities, and then allowed tenants the run of the place where the blame for everything falling apart got blurred. The BHA got to blame the victims

 anyways...Back then before the fall, every building had a one-bedroom apartment (no studios in them days) on each floor, usually occupied by an elderly woman (the men passed away earlier). The experience of interacting with so many older folks instilled in me great respect and empathy for older people, especially those who are older and alone. Some of us used to look out for and do errands for the older folks. I know I enjoyed doing it well into my teens. I think I got more out of the experience than the elderly neighbors did. 

Now mom is on a similar type of building.

consolation: Mom has family nearby (brother George) so she is not alone. 

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Before the days it became common to shuttle off relatives to nursing homes and assisted facilities, lots of people who got older got stuck into the public housing projects by relatives who started moving away from home, people who were chasing the experience known as the America Dream. This dream has contributed to the fragmentation of families as a tight knit unit. When I was growing up in the projects I always thought people put older relatives into the public housing developments as a way of keeping them in decent and safe affordable housing while they went on to chase the America Dream. This American Dream has always had it's upside and it's downside. I think most of us are ignorant of or worse, in denial of the costs incurred by the choices we make for personal freedoms, mobility, material success and what many view as progress. I always liked to see the big picture with all it's flaws as well as it's upside. Life is truly like a box of chocolates. I am neither ignorant nor in denial. I follow my bliss with a heavy heart. I do so without the benefit of blinders. I've moved on before (Brooklyn being one case), but this time it is further and most likely forever. 

As I depart for the west coast I do so with a bit of angst and fear that this next week could be the last I see mom in this world. I hope she stays healthy and that we get to see each other again soon, but not being close by where I can just walk over, or take public transit, or even drive for a few minutes or an hour and see her is troubling me. The look I see in her eyes as we discuss my leaving says lots.

Mom's brother George moved out west back in the 50s, and her sister Gloria got married and moved to Maryland. Mom is seeing things in her world repeat themselves. It must be hard for her to see another member of her family move away. When I lived in Brooklyn it was no big deal to come back to Boston and visit on any give weekend, yet I know on some level my mom felt as if she'd lost something. I think most parents feel that way when grown children move away. Previous generations always assumed their children would take care of them when they got older like the generations before them did. Taking care of loved ones has an emotional component that can not always be bridged by letters, phone, email or whatever else comes about.  But times change. The America Dream (and on many levels, the human experience) demands something. I can't change mom's feelings nor can I change her emotional grip on me. I can only accept them. I can and I do hope she gets to come out to the west coast after I settle in. She hates traveling, but I know she'd enjoy being with me out there. She loved visiting NYC.

But mom...what will be, will be.

dantes_blue_swan.jpg

sigh

My Friends Page

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On the right side of this blog is a section with the subheading: Pages

The Pages section consists of: Gallery | Who is Dante | Who is Donald Everett

I have started one named: Friends ... which is unpublished. 

I had the page titled, Friends, up for part of one day after Sharon P., commented on definitely_maybe. I took it down to tweak it. I hope to have it back up soon. I have lots of content to put here at definitely_maybe, and on donaldeverett.com which is of course the main web site portal. I have run out of time to do most of everything I wanted to do here. Deciding to move on no matter what, had me full of inspiration and ideas for making this site the site of my dreams, but bumping up my moving on by a couple of weeks has making decisions about this web site stuff that are dictating the look and feel of it all. I sort of like it.

It looks like I am going to keep it simple. KISS = Keep It Simple Stupid!

I wanted to do a few things 'just right' here, and as usual I was stuck on making things 'just right' which was leading to almost nothing getting done. But now real world demands are pressuring me to do things now and to do them on the fly

ss_oh_the_horror.jpg
Oh the horror. The horror! 

These things...I can live with: c-o-m-p-r-o-m-i-s-e-s. It's all cool.

Actually, I like the pressure and the anxiety. I feel alive again. Alive again, like...

youngfrank.jpg

 I haven't felt this alive in a long time. Not since I first made the acquaintance of, Dozer and company. lol

Am I experiencing male men-oh-pause...a mid life crisis? Say it ain't so!

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note: I would love to give credit to the actor who's face I have in "oh the horror" but i can't find the link right now. I need to run out and get things done.

California or Bust!

--- ever wonder why about some things? --- well Google does have it's upside ---



kottke.org...

The best part of IT is the links to the computer simulations. 

friggin' cool! 

www.vintagecomputermusic.com  last link/bottom of page

Synthesized computer speech demonstration (1963)Bell LaboratoriesD.H. Van Lenten2:20[Listen][Download]

Any Day Now

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I'll finish this when I get back from the dentist---if I am able to. Tony, my dental student has performed a bureaucratic miracle and gotten me an oral surgery appointment before I leave. I had written off finishing the work we had going on. The work he began months ago will be finished before I move on. One less headache. Now, when I get to California I do not have to add dentist to my must do immediately list. That is absent a complication like infection, blah, blah, blah... 

Me_on_beach_winthrop_1.png



Time, Pain & Movable Type

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Since having to move up the date I depart for the west coast I find myself juggling far too many things at once. Stress is starting to show itself. A few weeks more time (as I originally planned) would've given me time to do everything I wanted to do--more efficiently and at a pace that would make things more enjoyable.

update from my last post a few days ago: Time is running out and I am still in pain from dental surgery. After thinking I would have to cancel the final course of my dental plan at B.U. Dental School and then having it expedited, circumstances have dictated choices I've made that have thrown my plans another surprise. Of course nothing went as planned at the dentist and although I am delighted the work is getting done before I leave, I am not a happy camper. But as long as I view it all as just one more bump in the road of my new journey, my spirit will survive intact. 

West Coast or Bust!

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Movable Type (this blog software) has a great upgrade...

Mt-pro-logo-white-thumb-250x43.png

...and I would like to move over to it before I shut down, but my brain is telling me that I should wait. 

I haven't decided on exactly what day I will pull the plug on my old mac (apple computer) and put IT to sleep, but time is running out. This weekend will see me detoxing from my mac addiction and all things internet(s). Maybe later today I will feel better and be up to doing a few things on this site (after swallowing more pills and putting more ice on my face).

Tony Meecam, my dentist, deserves much credit and thanks for a job well done. However, why he wants to torture people for a profession is beyond me. 

Walking The Beach

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I've back back for about an hour from my walk on the beach. I took a few pictures with my camera phone and I tried smiling, but it hurts too much. It shows in the photos. lol


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Lost & Found: NYC Mementos 1980s

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While going through things I found some stuff from a visit I took to NYC before I moved there.

Words are inadequate here...

WTC_Brochure1.png


WTC_Brochure2.png

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I came across a post card I saved of an event for Rod Rhode's art:

rodrhodes2.png

rodrhodes1.png

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Me on the observation deck of the WTC and at the Metropolitan Museum of Art

me_on_wtc_deck_with_sliced_finger.png

me_at_the_met.png


The Brooklyn Museum has a great mideast - Egyptian exhibit.
The end of this chapter in my plans to migrate out west is here. D-day is here. I'm going to pull the plug---disconnect from the world wide web. Life threw another wrinkle into plans yesterday. My building had no electrical power for the whole day. bummer!

Tomorrow will be a full day with last minute appointments all over town (Boston). I don't think I'll have time online tomorrow so I'm going to pull the plug today sometime. 

I'll write a post just before I disconnect everything.

d.

Leaving: As Good As IT Gets.

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This is it. Yesterday I ended up rushing to meet a few childhood friends at the Fisherman's Feast in Boston's North End. Rushing to get last minute appointments out of the way.

Later today I get to do my HAL from 2001 A Space Odyssey routine.

Dave..?

------





I ran out of time. Time the one thing that is most precious in life. Don't think so? Ask any dying person what they'd love most to have more of...

Every day I wake up is a great day. When I get out of bed it is all frosting on the cake.

See you all soon...I hope.


Good Vibes Cafe Long Beach California

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I am blogging from The Good Vibes Cafe where there is free internet access. One problemo---I can't seem to delete my files and passwords from their browser. How crappy is that? Other than this surprise my first few days here have been suprisingly uneventful. I did go to Clancy's Bar the other night and the Karaoke guy there was ridiculously upset because I dropped a few eff bombs---withthe mike on. How prissy is that? And to think I was the only fool to leave a tip in his jar. Next time I'll remember to bring something else to drop in his cup---like a subway token---just in case.

 

I have to get a few more things done before I can get settled into a new place, but I am waiting on a few bureaucrats and that is frustrating but par for the course. I hope to get settled in soon so that I can get my MAC shipped out here. Detoxing from the internet(s) has not been all that bad. Really. No I mean it. Really.

 

 note: one thing---This blog is still on Eastern Daylight Savings Time

Long Beach Tales

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I am here for my first weekend. I never did get to LA yesterday, but today I am on my way there from where am at this instant blogging from---Good Vibes Cafe---in Long Beach. There is a light rail vehicle (trolley) a few blocks over from here. It is called the Metro Blue Line and it goes to LA and connects to another line that goes to Redondo Beach. When I get settled I hope to explore the area by bus and trolley/street car.

Yesterday I was at the building I am waiting to move into (which will happen around the first of September). There is a person who works out of there who is my connection to LB. If it weren't for circumstances, this blog and craigslist on the internet I might not have ended up dealing with this person and starting out in Long Beach. While I do not believe in fate, I do however find myself offering prayers of thanks to Fortuna.


Thank you Roni.


Long Beach Blues

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Today finds me being satisfied at my choice of Long Beach as a starting point for my west coast journey. I went into LA the other day. After blogging I rode the Metro Blue Line from Long Beach into Down Town LA and connected to the  Metro Red Line where I scoped out Universal Studios and Hollywood Blvd. There are definitely two (or more) worlds living side by side here. When I get settled in here I hope to look at this issue more deeply and to write about it.

I got a call the other night from Frankie Renzulli who I grew up with in the Maverick Projects. His family and mine hung around together. He is back in East Boston as I am out here (His mom had some sort of hospitalization) (I hope she is well). It was ironic to hear he was back home as I was starting out here, where he did when he came out west.

An odd thing is Frankie was living in NYC at the same time I was living in Brooklyn. As a matter of fact I heard he frequented a bar in Bay Ridge that was two blocks from my apartment at the time...and I had no clue about it until I moved back to Boston. I guess I dropped off the face of the earth way back and people hadn't so much lost touch with me as I had been too busy doing whatever it was I was doing. Ahhh, wasted time years gone by. Life's experiences. I hope I get to see Frankie after I settle in.

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LA-Hollywood: where dreams are made. I think the dreams here are filled with as many nightmares scenarios as imaginable. I am wondering about/contemplating where the reality of a dream separates from the idea of following one's bliss. I do not believe I am above having my dreams turn into nightmares but I do know I am more grounded and content with self than I was earlier in my life. Is that insurance from nightmares? Who knows. Then again are nightmares really that bad to those living through them? Nearness/distance lends a different perspective.

 I look around and wonder---was the delay of a few years of my move out here actually a blessing? I can't imagine what it would have been like to go through what I had been through in the last few years all while being out here alone---startng over---reinventing myself---following my bliss, without the familiarity and the great support system I had in Boston when things went bad

I'm rambling but I feel the need to put something of my thoughts down. I will know more about things in a week or two and then...

Oh yeah! I went to Alamitos Bay, the Belmont Shore, The Pike, and more along the waterfront. I am thinking of taking sailing lessons later. Cool, eh?


I can't wait to settle in and starting making friends.

ltr
d.


I'll clean up and edit things later. I am on a fre/public computer and there are other people...

Good Vibes Cafe, Long Beach.

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Good Vibes Cafe, Long Beach is where I have been blogging from this past week. Yesterday I met the owner/operator of the place. His name is Jamal and he is originally from Morocco. The funny thing is after I told him I was from Boston he livened up. For those of you who do not know about East Boston (my home town), it is historically an immigrant community. The latest immigrants to relocate there are for a large part from Morocco.

Jamal is from the city of Casablanca which is a neighbor to Mouhamidia (his-Jamal's spelling)---(Mohammedia is very popular with Moroccans, especially people from Casablanca,..)---Mohammedia being where most of the Moroccan folks in Boston hail from. I am not sure about where the particular Moroccan residents of East Boston come from, but I suspect they are also mostly from Mohammedia.

The more I move around the smaller the world gets. I always agreed with Tom Friedman
about the internet(s) making the world flat, but I always thought technology made the earth flat. Even without the internet(s) the world around me always seemed flat. Confused about what I mean by flat? --- www.thomaslfriedman.com/bookshelf/the-world-is-flat  ---

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anyway, I can't wait to blog about my experiences surrounding my moving on---but that will have to wait until I am settled in securely. My story involves much personal information in order for it to make any sense and I have decided to bare it all.

My life will be more than an open book---it will be a public blog.

see you around the internet(s).

ciao
d.

My First West Coast Weekend Update

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Well here I am in Long Beach California on my second weekend, the weekend I hope is my last in a motel. Sometime next week I should be able to move into my new apartment. So what is there to do around here on a weekend? Lots. What will I be doing this holiday weekend? I'll be walking the beaches tryng to get my bearings and reaffirming my beliefs and hopes and contemplating what IT all means for me right here, right now. IT, being my journey through time ---time---this being this thing we call life.

I have taken a few tourist routes around the City of Long Beach as well as a few off the beaten track ones. I like the place. It is struggling to reinvent itself with a rebuilding program and rejuvenation project that it is from my view, succeeding. In a way I feel a kinship with this city as I too am struggling to reinvent myself. I have ben thinking of what exactly that means and the words dopn't come so easily. I really am having a difficult time not having my own computer with a reliable hookup. There is much I'd like to say that just seems out of reach while typing away on a public computer at a cafe. I guess I am learning a different kind of patience out here.

From my own unique experiences and situation in moving here to the idea that I cannot just cross the street at my own choosing and outside of an intersection that is clearly marked (they actually use crosswalks out here), I am learning to move at a pace that is more suitable to a snail than a hare. One plus side is that the part of me that is contemplative is coming more to the forefront. Walking along the beaches on the east coast was such a wonderful exepreinece partly because of the weather and what could be expected. Here it is totally different. I wonder how it will pan out. Time will tell---patience.

I'm off to  scope out another part of town.

Enjoy this Labor Day Weekend in whatever way you can.

d.

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This page is an archive of entries from August 2008 listed from newest to oldest.

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